Thank you for all the support that I so desperately need.
I know a cluster of things came together to trigger this, including that my Belmont anniversary is around this time. I can't think about holidays this year, without remember the deferred holiday last year coming out of our respective hospitals.
This weekend was very bad. I sobbed for hours like a dying animal. The muscles across my heart and most of my chest are sore. I could feel my heart beating itself senseless. And the tears just don't stop. They are always waiting, ready to go. It's just too much for too long and there is a cumulative price to that.
I am surviving. Difficult as it was, I let my man know how serious this is, and he is looking out for me as best he can. I took a sick day. And I'm trying to get into the pill shrink ASAP. Fortunately I've learned that lexapro is in generic, so I'll actually be able to afford it. So that's where I stand.
But really, things need to get better. And I know I should believe that they can. But it's hard.
It's very very hard.
Thank you blog world. You helped me so much this time last year, and once again I thank you.
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6 comments:
weird, I spent this weekend having a crazy depression/anxiety episode. It's like we're bad mental health psychic sisters :)
So after having a huge panic attack /major depression on friday and saturday, me and b spent yesterday going to the franklin institute. It was definitely helpful to get out of the house and do something to keep my mind off all the other things that are freaking me out. And now this morning I don't want to kill myself, so it seems to have helped. :)
There must be plenty of cheap/free stuff you can go check out in D.C., with M if he feels up to it, or by yourself if not. Even just going to a movie might help.
The Lexapro will help. I bet.
I had a semi-breakdown on Sunday for some reason. Maybe the stars were aligned into crazy.
Hang in there.
I can't believe Federal employees don't have a decent RX drug plan! I hope the generic stuff works for you.
So I'm starting a new blog at http://sociologylife.blogspot.com/ want to write for it sometime? (regular and guest spots available!) :)
AE & MsM: it's weird when we're part of these waves of phenomena...
MOB: Well the mail order place just jacked a brand name co-pay from $35 to $65, and CVS rapes me half the time when I go there. But it'll be okay- that at least!
AE: I think that just might be the best idea in the history of sociological ideas. Hells yeah! :D
so do you want to join the blog? Let me know and I can add you as a writer (i'm not really the blog 'leader'...mostly I think the requirements to be a writer is that you post at least twice a month, about something sociological)
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