* Palpitations
* Pounding heart‚ or an accelerated heart rate
* Sweating
* Trembling or shaking
* Shortness of breath A choking sensation
* Chest pain or discomfort
* Nausea or stomach cramps
* A feeling of being dizzy
* Unsteadiness
* Lightheadedness or feeling faint
* Derealization (a feeling of unreality)
* Depersonalization (a feeling of being detached from oneself)
* Fear of losing control or going crazy
* Fear of dying Numbness or a tingling sensation
* Chills or hot flashes
I've been scoring
Fabulous.
1.5 mg of xanax later (that's not a little!) I can sit, I can move, without the dizzyness. Without passing passing back out on the ground. Oh and totally just vomited my guts out.
I am facing some stressful things right now. I can't run away anymore. And it terrifies me in a way that is just beyond archetypal, planted in infancy, and rooted in social conditioning. I am freaking the fuck out.
I am breathing. I am fighting with enormous difficulty. God this is hard.
10 comments:
Oh honey. I wish I could hold your hand. I know. I know. I know.
Your esupport still helps :) thank you
I know. But I wish I could do more. I wish you could come down and visit your cousin. The weather here is so nice right now that it alone would help your heart and soul to be calmer.
Come Down Here! I can talk to my mom. We can score the funds. Take a few days off. I'll pick you up at the nearest airport. You'll have your own room. Your own bathroom. You can sleep. We can walk, talk, hang, breathe. PLEEEEEEAASSSEEEE!
Had all that stuff...honest - been there - done all that.
Had another life before this one - stressed out.
Let it pass.
I have had panic attacks too. It was crazy. I used to think only "weak people" got them and it was "mostly in their head." Yeah, it is. And your body too, which is SO real. I had some when I first went back to work last October, when I was at Progress Energy. I promptly quit that (temp) assignment, and that's when I went to the career counselor. (Now you know.) I haven't had any since then, but now I am clued in about anxiety, etc. I am praying for you.
Marian, are you do Marian I think you are?
Thank you for your prayers! :)
Yes, it's me, but I can't seem to enable access to my Profile on here. *sigh*
Oh wait! It is working. I'm MAID Marian. :o)
I can only imagine the stress of having to jump back into the work world cold. It is not a kind workplace out there most places- I know it all too well! It's tough. Having to re-enter after being out for a few years would have to be just incredibly stressful! I do feel for you. The potential nastiness of the work world was part of my motivating force through grad school- to not have a job that treated me poorly and made me miserable... But I know you will find a good place soon if you haven't already. You've done good, so good will come to you. I've no doubt! :)
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