glamour-free

It's a cool Sunday morning, what with Autumn already begun. It is also slightly rainy, which I don't notice until I'm already outside with my dog. I cover my head with my hand, in the hopes of not getting another cold.

Where have I been babies? Just surviving. Exhausting day after day surviving. It's not glamorous, nor am I.

I wonder sometimes if perhaps we are to play a role in some future important things. In some future Nostradamus-vaguely-predicted showdown where we will make some epic contribution that we never could have done if not for being in training thru years of bastard hardship. Far more likely, it is just that I get to play witness to life the unfair, and hopefully, to channel it into my work on these things.

I am an analyst. A social scientist. Nothing big, but occasionally I wear a suit, and when I write things, it has a shred of credibility. And rarely do we get the ranks of the desperate in any position of anything.

And this is sort of what I study, by choice of course. Which is stressful. It would be far kinder to myself if I choose to research unicorns, and their role in human culture, or the what the queers are doing to the soil (chill dude- it's a dead milkmen song- lay off). But what would be the point. What's my motivation? Lest we forget, I have never been a hard worker for it's own sake. I am an 80's kid, and while we may stay busy, it is a crazy ADD affair of flickering screens and unfocused multi-tasking that leads nowhere.

Tho I don't get to work on this enough, as I am always engaged in the real deal. It's always a fight for time.

So here we have it. Proud and grateful to still be in the game. But no glamor here. Not a glimmer.

Here's hoping next week doesn't suck as much as last week, but bracing for it regardless.

Namaste babies.